Why Celebrities Are Not Good Role Models For Our Children

It seems like the recent year has been plagued with disappointment by way of people we once deemed at the top of the moral heap.  It's been a rough year for us in terms of shock and horror at the truth we have found in those we once thought above reproach.  Because of this brutal fall from social grace, I have come to realize that idolizing normal people who have been artificially pedestalled due to their fame, can be traumatic.  Even as an adult, these realities we've been hit with are so far from what we believed that it seemed almost impossible.  My brain has literally glitched over some of these recent revelations.  "Does not compute.  Error.  Error."  So here are just a few of the monumental disappointments we've had to suffer recently:

1.  Cliff Huxtable the OBGYN is actually a serial rapist.
2.  Brian Williams, a journalist paid to distribute unbiased truth, is actually a compulsive liar.
3.  Tom Brady, one of the world's best role models for good sportsmanship is actually a cheater and a liar.
4.  Lance Armstrong, revered for his survival and perseverance is actually a cheater and a liar.
5.  America's most morally high and religiously sound family, the Duggars,  actually harbor and protect a child molester at the expense of some of their other children and lie about it for the sake of fame and fortune.

These are just the ones off the top of my head.  So what is the take away lesson here for our kids?

Well, in my opinion, teaching them to put their trust and admiration in the hands of fallible humans they really don't know anything about is dangerous.  As we have seen proven over and over again recently, these people will disappoint our children and then we will have a lot of explaining to do.

So who should our children be admiring?  Well, their parents for one.  You are the closest people to your children.  They know you better than anyone.  It is least vulnerable for them to put their trust and faith in you.  But, this means you now have a very close reason to keep yourself in check.  We all fall down from where we'd like to be as parents from time to time.  I for one have a horrific potty mouth that probably tells my children it's okay to be classless from time to time....completely the wrong message but still there it is.....

But, I think we take ourselves for granted as parents and we forget how awesome we are and how much our children do and should admire and respect us. They should know what we do, how we live our lives, what our struggles and successes are.  They should learn from our mistakes and witness how we come back from a failure or a misstep.  We are their best teachers.  We are their best role models.  We don't need to be an actor in a groundbreaking TV series, or an award winning international journalist, or a Super Bowl quarterback or the most famous cyclist in the world or the most fertile and prolific people on the planet.  We just have to be honest and present.

So my challenge for everyone reading, and this includes myself, is to see yourself as that role model for your kids, to hold yourself to that expectation and to teach your kids to see you that way as well.  We can't be accountable for other people's behavior so why put our children's admiration in those we have no control over?  We CAN control our own behavior.  We are the safest bet for our kids.  We are real.

What our children learn from these inevitable disappointments society sets them up for by creating these facades in front of morally blank people is that they can't trust people.  When all the while we should be doing everything we can to teach them WHO they can trust.  My daughter is so vulnerable.  She believes everything she hears on television.  She tells me all the time, "Mommy we should buy that.  The commercial says it's the best."  I worry about her innocence and her genuine faith in humanity.  I don't want to see it pummeled.  I know I can't and shouldn't protect her from the harsh realities of the world.  I want her to be resilient.  But I believe that resilience is bolstered not just by scars from negative experiences but more so by a firm foundation in faith in the things that are real and steadfast and true.  The most real, steadfast and true thing in the world for her is the love and security she gets from this family.

So just to gain some perspective on all of this, celebrities, characters and personas are going to continue to disappoint.  I predict they will continue to drop like flies and society will get more and more cynical and desensitized to it.  In the mean time, I want to work hard to provide something real that my kids can believe in.  Something steadfast they can count on.  Something true they can know.  I want my kids to embody what will someday be the example.  Maybe if we all do that, we can turn this sinking ship around.

A Dose of Uno: Why We Love Games and Why We Start Them Early

Mariella has been playing the game of Uno with us since she was 4 years old, even though the game is rated ages 7 and up.  This is because of two reasons.  First, I have fond memories of playing the game when I was a kid and still rate it as one of my all time favorite games to play.  Second, as a parent, it dawned on me what a powerful game it is in terms of brain development.  So, we started her early and figured if she could play it and understand the object of the game at the age of four, then why wait till she's 7 to help her brain develop critical thinking skills.

If you remember Uno, it has numbers and colors and involves matching, patterns, addition, and quick thinking.  It is a game of strategy.  Every family differs slightly on the rules of play I think, but overall the game plays out until one person plays their last card.  It is a lot of fun.  So we figured, what a great way to teach her numbers, colors and math!  Now, at the age of 5 1/2 she is almost always the undisputed family champion of the game.  I love watching her play, knowing that as she looks at the cards in her hand she is actually working through strategy in her mind.  She is able to think on her feet, maximize the use of the cards in her hand and she knows just when to play what cards.  It is amazing to watch.  She gets it.

The reason I decided to mention this is because I noticed how much it has helped our child develop thinking skills and because I think too often we assume that maybe our kids aren't ready for certain things.  But I say from experience, try it, go for it.  If your kids aren't ready, you'll know.  But if they are then you've just opened a new door for them and how exciting is that??

Here are just a few of the benefits of Uno:

1. Logic and Reasoning skills
2. Processing Speed
3. Problem Solving
4. Sustained Attention
5.  Short Term Memory
6. Working Memory
7. Visual Processing

There are many other games that are also fun and develop thinking skills too.  For instance, we are about to introduce her to Yahtzee, even though the game is rated for ages 8 and up.  Scrabble, Skip Bo, and any old card game are also great for learning.

I grew up around old people and we played a ton of games; board games and card games.  I was playing things like Kings in the Corner, Rummy, Hearts, Black Jack, Crazy Eights, Solitaire, Pinochle, Skin, Slapjack, War, and various forms of Poker starting at the age of five.  Mostly because my great grandparents took care of me during the day and they were Hungarian and Italian and also because I think they didn't know what else to do with me.  But, they inadvertently made me a quick thinker and a good player and I have fond memories of gambling at the kitchen table with my great grandma and her best friend.  They'd bring little old purses of loose change and clonk them down on the table and when the game started, friendship went out the door.  They were serious players.  I loved that.  But I also loved learning how to play.  It felt powerful to know how to play a game and become good at it.  And if you can beat an 80 year old Hungarian woman at pinochle, then God bless you that's an accomplishment.

So I say, play games with your kids even if you think they're too young to learn.  They might surprise you and hell they might even become better than you.  And in the process you get to build fun family bonding time and great memories for your kids.  Memories they will get to enjoy for a long time because they will have remarkable brains.

The Oxygen Mask: A Weekly Dedication to Taking Care of the Caretaker: Over-Momming It

I recently read an article titled, "7 Things That Good Mothers Do That I'm Not Going to Do Anymore," http://www.themid.com/family/7-things-that-good-mothers-do-that-im-not-going-to-do-anymore?u=JIOdvDkxzs and I have to say it was so refreshing and inspiring.  So, on that topic, I would like to add to her liberating and empowering list with a few things that I additionally will no longer do.*

1.  Share the bathroom with voyeurs and visitors. For the last 5 years, I have almost never had the pleasure of being in the bathroom alone.  My son insists on sliding into the small space between the toilet and the wall as I'm relieving myself, and will scream and force himself into the wedge if I try to push back.  I'm like a bouncer at a boy band concert trying to hold back a hysterically obsessed maniac.  My daughter insists on throwing open the shower curtain with dramatic flair to announce that she found the shoes for her princess doll and will act completely put off if I have the audacity to take offense to her invasion.  From now on, they can kick and scream at the door all they want.  My time in the bathroom is mine.  My husband gets a whole glorious half and hour all to himself every day while he takes a dump.  He demands it as a requirement for his physical health.  It is mandatory and non-negotiable.  So, if he can have his half an hour, I'm taking my 5 to 10 minutes.  And my kids should learn now that everyone deserves privacy and alone time, that no one is ever obligated to be at their beckon call especially to the detriment of their own physical needs.

2.  Share my food with people who will otherwise go on a hunger strike than eat their own meal.  This is probably the time when my children are the biggest hypocrites.  My son would be the perfect war prisoner because he absolutely refuses to eat and will fight to the death.  He would rather starve than eat one spoonful of whatever it is I'm serving that day.  But the minute I sit down with my own meal, he is all over me trying to get at it and will scream and grab the bowl until I give him a bite.  It is insanity.  So, from now on, my meal is mine and yours is yours.  Eat it, don't eat it, whatever but you're not getting mine.  I need all the calories I can get if I'm going to continue the daily slave labor that is motherhood.  And my belief has always been that a hungry child will eat what you put in front of them eventually.  They won't hold out forever.  But sending the message that you can have whatever you want whenever you want it at the expense of other people's comfort and needs is the wrong message in my opinion.

3.  Referee every confrontation.  I increasingly, as my son gets older, spend more time dealing with their confrontations.  There are days when I feel like all I get done is separating, mediating, negotiating and solving problems between them.  So from now on, with the exception of inflicted actual physical harm, I am letting them sort it out themselves.  Kids need to learn how to advocate for themselves and work out conflict on their own.  It is unrealistic to think there will always be someone there to fight your battles for you.  The world doesn't work that way unless you can afford to keep a lawyer on retainer.  So, I am moving from referee to coach.  I will teach them the tools they need to communicate and problem solve effectively but I'm not going to do it for them anymore.  Kids have an innate sense of justice that dissolves over time when they learn that they can just run to mommy for a quick solution to their problem.  I would rather build on the sensibilities they were born with and develop them into strong effective individuals than cripple them into helpless cry babies because my trigger is to have peace as quickly as possible.  The house might be louder but in the end, I know they will be better off.

4.  Feel guilty for not "playing" with my kids everyday.  I do a lot for my kids everyday.  I take them to all of their extra-curricular activities, I lead my daughter's Girl Scout troop, I plan birthday parties from scratch, I home school, I go to great lengths to make sure my kids have access to as many developmental toys and books as possible....it's a lot.  But I do it because I am wholly invested in their development.  So why do I feel guilty if I don't "play" with them every day?  My kids are great at independent play, one on one play with their peers and group play.  They are well developed in all areas of play.  And yet, I feel guilty if I'm not on the floor playing with them.  My husband and I "play" differently.  He is wonderful at silliness and imaginative, creative play.  He will design an elaborate obstacle course for the Hot Wheels cars out of objects found around the house and he will happily wear a tutu on his head as a wig.  He will go along with whatever silly pretend play the kids want to do and they LOVE him for it.  But I'm a more serious, intentional type of "player."  I play games, do puzzles, read books, color and do art projects or take the kids some place to engage in an activity.  My "play" has to have purpose.  It is almost painful for me to have to "play house"  or "babies" or "doll house" or "princess."  My husband and I have different personalities.  We're individuals and I feel like it should be not only okay, but wonderful that my kids are exposed to a balanced type of play, getting different things from the both of us.  And yet, I feel guilty that I'm not a "pretend player."  I can't change who I am.  I can't be all things to all people.  And I think trying to be something you're not instead of embracing who you are sends the wrong message to kids.  I'm a human being with preferences, interests, needs, strengths and weaknesses and I want my kids to see me that way instead of some blobulous mom mass that they can mold into whatever person they need at that moment.  I don't want to feel guilty anymore that I'm not the all-mom.  I'm a good mom, I'm a very good mom.  But I'm not a perfect mom and it's better that they find that out now and learn how to accept it.  It will help them in their relationships down the road to accept people for who they are and not put unreasonable expectations on people.  Honesty about who we are in relationships makes for more healthy relationships.

5.  Bend over backwards to please.  The lifestyle of my children has an ever-growing rider that becomes more ridiculous by the day.  I am not a personal assistant or concierge.  In fact the sum of my legal obligation to these children is to keep them clean, fed, healthy and safe.  Beyond that, I don't really have to do anything.  But, what I find is that, I am doing more and more every day to fulfill their comfort needs and requests.  When we go anywhere in the car, and I mean anywhere, for even five minutes we have to take drinks.  Max has to have a 1 to 4 ratio of water to apple juice.  He refuses to drink it otherwise.  We also have to bring snacks.  But, they have to be either graham crackers but only the chocolate kind, or fig newtons.  They will not accept Goldfish or animal crackers or any other type of cracker or cookie.  At lunch, Mariella must have her sandwich cut into four squares.  Even though she is capable of eating the sandwich as a whole, she will refuse.  At bed time, Max must have his 1 to 4 juice water, his dolly and his particular blanket.  He will not go to bed without these things.  Mariella must wear a certain type of pajamas, she must have her doggy and she must have only certain blankets and sheets.  The music must be on and the light at a certain level.  At breakfast, Max will only eat a certain type of cereal.  He will not accept any substitutions or alternatives.  At all meals Mariella must have a fresh glass of cold filtered water from the fridge.  She absolutely will not drink water any other way.  Even if it sat there for five minutes, it must be refreshed.  Also in the car Mariella must have her Leap Pad or her father's Kindle.  She claims she cannot survive without one or both of these items.  At bath time, the water has to be at the perfect temperature or else it is considered unsuitable.  And only a specific light can be turned on, the shower curtain has to be closed half way, and she must have a specific list of toys.  In addition, she must have a certain type and color of scrubby, but also a wash cloth but it must be a soft one.  If it's scratchy she won't use it.  At breakfast, Mariella must have a glass of orange juice filled to the same point every day.  If it's too little or too much, I am notified of her disapproval.  When Max goes down for a nap, Mariella demands her quiet time which I personally approve of.  However, it must be in the spare bedroom, with her princess dolls, a drink and two Oreo cookies.  This must be the same every day.  If we run out of Oreo cookies, I risk getting fired.  Max must have Greek yogurt at every meal and at snack time.  But it must only be certain flavors.  I love that my children are strong people who know what they want and can articulate that.  But as you can see, their expectations have become unreasonable and unless they become Kardashians I'm not sure how they are going to continue this lifestyle after I'm dead.  So, I think it is important to teach them about reasonable expectations but also the independence to fulfill some of their needs on their own.  In many other ways my children are incredibly grateful and easy to please.  They don't care that their toys and clothes are used or that we go to Chuck E Cheese instead of Disney World.  They are happy children.  But, their list of required creature comforts have gotten a little out of control.

I love my children with my whole being.  They are a part of me. But I fear some times that I am losing a sense of myself as I become more submerged in the world of my kids and their demands and expectations.  Who will I have become when they leave home?  How will they ever know the real me?  My kids are loving, polite, caring and sweet people.  But I also want them to be considerate, compassionate, empathetic and thoughtful.  It is my job as a mother to make sure they become well-balanced, effective members of society.  It is not my job to cater to their every whim and they will never become well-balanced and effective if I continue to do so.  And I will be a shell of my former self by the time their grown.  We as mothers can give ourselves to our children without giving everything we have.  And it should be no one's expectation that I sacrifice my whole self and all of my energy to my kids lest I be a "bad mom."  Maybe the old adage, "less is more" really is the way forward for motherhood.

*(I agree with Anderson on all points with one exception. I will continue to buy the best quality food for my kids even if it costs a little more.  I agree that overspending on the fashion trend of "organic" can get ridiculous and we need to be scrutinous on this issue because as mom's we are not only beholden to our children's health but also the family budget.  But, I think it is important to buy local, buy in season, buy all natural and buy as much whole food as possible.  If you can get it organic, great, if not, there are other ways to improve your family's diet without breaking the bank.  But effort needs to be made.  We can't give up on this movement towards better food).

The Healing Table: The Benefits of Locally Raised Beef

*3/25/15 UPDATE:  Since writing this blog post, I got such a great response from my readers that I began a group sharing service.  If you are interested in group share, go to our website at www.sharehappycows.com for more information.  We'll be happy to walk you through how easy it is to get local meats at an affordable cost in a quantity that fits your space.  And we'll deliver it to your house.


Before we moved to Cleveland, we discovered the love of buying locally raised beef.  We have some friends back home who raise just a few Holstein cows at a time, taking excellent care to raise them in a healthy, all natural way.  After being frustrated with the meager options at the grocery store and the ridiculous mark up of price on the "organic" beef options, we decided to buy-in on Steve and Michelle's stock.

There are many reasons to fall in love with buying local beef.  It's cheaper, it's healthier, it tastes better and it supports your local economy while at the same time takes away from factory farming.  Now that we've moved, Steve and Michelle are about four hours from us, so we've had to find a new local cattle farmer in the counties around us.  It wasn't as easy as I would have hoped but after some time invested in research, we found several.

On our first run at purchasing local beef, we chose to only order a quarter of a cow to start. If you’ve never bought beef this way, you might not know how rewarding and cost effective it is. The beef is sold by the quarter, the half or the whole.  We stocked our deep freezer but it didn't take as long as we thought to go through that meat!

Each portion has a market-based per pound price that is multiplied by the hanging weight.  So for example, a half a cow hangs for about 350 pounds.  A typical market price for all naturally raised beef is around $4.00 per hanging weight pound.  So 350 X $4.00= $1,400.  Your take home yield, meaning the actual meat you come home with after processing a half cow is about 65% of that weight or 225 pounds.  So, 225 pounds of meat at $1,400 means your actual price is about $6.25 per pound for ground beef, steaks and roasts.

NOTE: If you don't want that much meat or can't afford that much of an upfront cost, you can contact us to do a group share where you can share a quarter or a half or a whole with several other families.  With group shares you can buy on a budget, it requires less storage space, and you can re-order more often, keeping your meat inventory fresher.  You also get a variety of meats and cuts.  We do beef, chicken and pork.  Contact us at www.sharehappycows.com for more information.

There are reasons other than price for buying locally-raised beef.  First, the butcher typically ages beef longer than store bought beef, 14 to 21 days compared to only 5 to 7 for commercial beef. So it tastes better.  But it’s also typically fresher because commercial beef can sit longer before it gets to your table. With local beef, once the butcher cuts it up, it's yours.  Plus, commercial ground beef comes from a variety of cows, whereas your local beef purchase is all from the same cow. That means the ground beef you buy from the grocery store is made up of several different cows.  Finally, even the "organic" beef you get from the grocery store cannot compare.  Most of it is shipped in from Australia and it is wet aged, meaning it ages inside the plastic packaging.  This makes it less flavorful, less safe and it contains more water.  So, when you pay per pound, you are paying for more water in the weight of that pound of meat.  It's a waste.

The taste of local beef is worlds away from anything you’ve ever bought at a store. If you’ve never tasted local beef, you don’t know what beef is actually supposed to taste like, but I can tell you it is delicious.  But the best thing about buying local is that you know very well how that cow was fed, raised and cared for. The cows we buy graze on pasture land and are supplementally fed an all natural diet of non-GMO feed, have plenty of room to roam, have clean living quarters and are not pumped full of steroids or antibiotics. And the beef comes from the butcher without preservatives, nitrates, nitrites or “pink slime.”  We can also get totally organic 100% grass fed cows but the cost is more and the difference is actually minimal.

Now many people may argue that red meat in your diet is not a good thing, that you should feed your family lean meats.  I disagree, sort of.  Yes, lean meats are healthier in terms of their fat and cholesterol content.  But red meat provides vital nutrients that are hard to find elsewhere in our diet.

For instance, red meat is rich in Vitamin B12 as well as thiamin, riboflavin, pantothenic acid, folate, niacin and B6.  It's also a great source of Vitamin D and iron.  Red meat is also a great way for us to get zinc.  Since the American diet is not rich in organ meats and shellfish, red meat becomes the primary source for our vital nutrients such as zinc.  In red meat we also find significant amounts of minerals such as magnesium, copper, cobalt, phosphorous, chromium, nickel and selenium.  And all of these vitamins and minerals are much more bioavailable in red meat than in other sources such as our plant-based foods.  Bioavailable means the body can absorb them much more efficiently.  Finally, the fatty acid profile of red meat is far and away better than leaner white meats.

Media reports will scare you that red meat is dangerous to your health, that it leads to cancer and heart disease.  However, there have been no conclusive studies that show evidence of this.  And if anything, it's the nitrates and nitrites that commercial beef companies pump into your grocery store beef that is the most dangerous thing about it.  That HAS been proven.  This is probably the most important reason to buy local.

So, if you are interested in getting involved in group sharing of locally raised beef, chicken or pork, check out our site and contact us for more information.  You will not be sorry and you will probably never buy beef at the grocery store again.  www.sharehappycows.com.

The Oxygen Mask: A Weekly Dedication to Taking Care of the Caretaker

First Edition: Your Gall Bladder & Pregnancy

The Oxygen Mask is going to be a weekly issue that I will post focusing on Mommy Health.  I think it is important to take time out to discuss our own health and ways we can improve it.  As we well know, we are often the pilot, the navigator AND the flight attendant on this crazy ride and we cannot safely and securely care for our little passengers if we're not at least occasionally tending to our own needs as well.

In this first edition, I want to talk about our gall bladders.  This might be an unusual place to start, since it's not an organ we pay much attention to, but for personal reasons, I think it is a good place to start.  In my own experience of becoming a mother for the first time, I discovered that there were a lot of "things they don't tell you about pregnancy."  I say that in quotations because I found myself saying that a lot all of a sudden to anyone who would listen.  That's because I had an expectation that, since women have been giving birth for thousands of years, we probably knew everything there was to know about it and that I would be fully debriefed about EVERYTHING that could or would happen.  I was wrong.  I began a journey of discovery when I got pregnant, about my own body, about health and about the consequences of pregnancy.  The first thing I learned about was my gall bladder.

A short time after I gave birth to Mariella, I was struck by a sudden and agonizing pain in my torso that literally took my breath away.  I remember I was sitting on the couch, relaxing after putting her to bed, and indulging in a snack.  The episode came on like a freight train.  I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move.  Now this was in the fall of 2009, right around the time the media was buzzing about the H1N1 flu virus.  Remember that?  Yeah, well, the only thing I could think was, "Oh my God, I have H1N1 and I'm dying."

I ended up in the emergency room in the middle of the night, with a newborn in tow.  After hours of the worst pain I've ever felt in my life (and remember I had just given birth), the doctor's reported that I "probably have gall stones."  What???  They sent me home with Vicodin and told me to follow up with my GP but warned me that I was likely going to have to have gall bladder surgery.  My husband, being the superior researcher that he is, decided he wanted a second opinion because of all the horror stories he'd heard about gall bladder removal surgery.  He said that everyone he'd talked to who'd had the surgery "continued to live with pain and digestive problems."  He recommended we try a homeopathic purge that he found on the Internet.

In  the meantime, my attacks were becoming more frequent, more severe, lasting longer and becoming more resilient against the pain killers.  At my worst I was taking three Vicodin to dull the pain.....and it wasn't working.  My attacks would last as long as an hour sometimes and I began to describe them like "one long labor contraction that won't let up."  I would be on all fours on the floor, frozen and panting like a sick dog.  Afraid of surgery and the consequences thereof, I decided to give the purge a try.

The purge was basically a recipe of drinking Epsom salts every two hours for a whole day and then drinking a whole cup of olive oil and lemon juice.  Then you spend the whole next day on the toilet, purging your gall stones and everything else in your system.  I'm not recommending this process, but if you're curious about it, I'm sure it can be found easily by Googling.

It worked at first, I didn't have another attack for a few weeks.  But then they started again.  I still wasn't ready to give in to surgery, so I decided to do the purge again (they say it can take a few tries and apparently some people do it as a regular maintenance thing).  This time, I wanted proof so I did a very gross thing.  I put on rubber gloves, got a sieve and "fished out" my gall stones.  There were a lot.  I counted over 25 stones, some the size of a quarter.  And this was my second purge.  After collecting my bounty, I cleaned them off and put them in a baggie and stuck them in the freezer so they would keep until I could take them to the doctor.  I thought, "Surely that must be it.  I'm good now."  Wrong again.

About a week later, I was hit again.  Hard.  This time I decided to see the surgeon.  I took my baggy of stones, to which he responded with shock and amusement.  "How did you do this?"  he asked before he paraded my baggy around the office for show-and-tell.  I told him I purged them out.  He said he'd never heard of such a thing.  In the end, he removed my gall bladder but before he did, I asked him if I could see it once it was out.  He said no but that he would take photos of it for me.  When I came to after surgery, he showed me those photos.  After two purges, and after removing at least 25 stones on my second purge, my gall bladder still looked like a bag of marbles.

Now, luckily, I haven't gone on to live with continued pain and digestive problems.  But I'm discussing this with you now because I learned something very important that I think all women who plan to get pregnant or have had similar experiences should know.  You see, I wanted to know why this happened to me.  What I learned is that pregnancy predisposes women to high risk of gall stones because of the high hormone levels.  Progesterone inhibits the function of the gall bladder, relaxing it and causing bile to build up inside it, which leads to stones.

  About 12 percent of pregnant women each year develop gall bladder problems during pregnancy and can end up having surgery.  That's as many as 480,000 women in the United States each year!  Some even have to have emergency surgery while they're still pregnant!  This is not pseudoscience.  This is a well documented medical fact. Yet, not one doctor or OB warned me of this when I got pregnant.  And you know the response when I asked my doctor if they thought my pregnancy led to my gall bladder problems?  "I suppose it's possible."

Almost a half a million women each year end up with gall bladder problems as a result of pregnancy and no one is talking about it?  If someone had warned me that this could happen to me, that there was a good chance that this could happen to me, I would have eaten a low cholesterol diet during my pregnancy.  I would have made strides to stay healthy, be proactive and possibly avoid this extremely painful condition that inevitably led to surgery and the loss of an organ (an organ, by the way, that many doctors will say is UNNECESSARY, and that many alternative health professionals will vehemently disagree).  Maybe it would have happened anyway.  But I was never given the chance to see.

Instead, it affected my ability to breast feed my baby, it caused me unrelenting pain that made it hard for me to enjoy and care for my newborn.  It caused me to lose an organ, and it cost me a hefty medical bill that took several years to pay off.  So, ladies, I urge you.  If you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant, be sure you consider your gall bladder in your pregnancy diet.  Consider a low cholesterol diet and talk to your health care professionals about this possible consequence of pregnancy.  You may still be one of the unlucky 12 percent, but at least you'll be armed with knowledge and that's a powerful thing.  We are our own best advocate when it comes to our health.

And keep in mind that gall bladder surgery in the United States each year carries about a $10 billion price tag.  About 700,000 procedures are done each year and as many as 480,000 of them are women who got pregnant.  On the other hand, the price tag on your good health, is $0.  Nobody's making money when you're making good, educated health decisions.

Making Your Own Baby Food, Part 2: How to Do It

In this second part of this post, I'm going to discuss how to make your own baby food, and illustrate how easy it is to do.  In part one, I used an example of an 8 ounce sweet potato or yam.  Let's continue with that.

One of the best ways is to make a good amount and freeze it.  Since baby only eats a few ounces at a time, cooking a whole sweet potato can be wasteful unless you plan to eat the rest (Which as I will mention later, is an option).  So, here's what to do:

1. Boil that sweet potato until soft and then mash it up.
2. Then, if you want to puree it, you can use any blender to do so.  (ATTENTION MOMMIES:  You DO NOT need to invest in a baby food making system like Baby Bullet.  It is an expensive commodity that is totally unnecessary.  You absolutely do not need specially designed equipment to make baby food.  But if you do have a Bullet or a Vitamix or a Ninja, or whatever, great!  Use it.  If you only have a plain old boring blender, no worries. They work just as well.
3. If you do wish to thin out the food a little, you can add a little water when blending.
4. Once you've gotten it to the consistency you desire, pour it into ice cube containers.  Be sure to have clean, even sterilized, ice cube containers that are only used for baby food.  Frozen water tends to leave behind a residue of chemicals and minerals that get separated out during the freezing process.  
5. Once you have frozen your baby food, break out the cubes and toss into a freezer bag.  Label and date your bag of baby food and be sure to use within 3 months.

The nice thing about this method is that each cube is about one ounce each so it will be easy to measure out what you need for each serving.  And it allows you to make a bunch of food only once in awhile so you're not slaving over a blender every time your baby wants to eat.  And you can use fresh or frozen fruits and veggies.

 There is a particular website that I love which lays out the process of making your own baby food and a week by week plan for introducing food to baby.  It's www.babyfood101.com.  When you go there, click on "Weekly Email Course."  As I mentioned above, one option is to cook your sweet potato or other veggie and share it with your baby.  This website gives great ideas on how to do that.  And what better way to encourage family meal time than to include everyone in the same meal!  Also, what better way to encourage healthy eating than to incorporate fruits and veggies into your whole family's meal!

So, for instance in week four on www.babyfood101.com, it discusses introducing carrots and pears, information about organic versus non-organic, storage options, the health benefits of these foods, a baby recipe and an adult recipe, tips, and a shopping list, among other information.  This website lays everything out so simply with such great information.  It has truly become my go-to and I highly recommend it.

Another way to share food with your baby is to make "Banana Ice Cream."  All you do is mash up some bananas (and this is a great way to use up some of the riper ones) and freeze it.  Later, take it out and give to your older children for a great snack but also give some to your baby!  Especially if your baby is teething, this can be a great treat for them because it's nice and cold.  I love this treat and Mariella and Max love it too!

So, I hope after reading these posts you'll not only feel a little less anxious about making your own baby food, you'll see all the great benefits of it!  As always, if you have questions or wish to share ideas, feel free to contact me!

Making Your Own Baby Food, Part 1: The Truth About Commercial Brand Baby Foods

As I've mentioned before, since my first child, I've learned better, more affordable ways to raise my kids.  Another major way we are saving money the second time around is by making our own baby food.  Now, don't cringe.  I'm going to illustrate how this is easy, healthier for baby and kinder to your wallet.

First, I want to put some perspective on store bought baby food.   Even at the best price (occasionally grocery stores will sell the packs 10 for $10), they cost about 20 cents an ounce.  For instance, each two-pack of Gerber, on sale 10 for $10, are 5 oz each.  So, that's 5 ounces of food for a dollar, or 20 cents an ounce.  Okay, if you multiply that by one gallon, you discover that baby food costs at minimum $25.60 a gallon!!!

(And if you consider how much you buy in a year, on average if you use two to four of these little baby food containers a day, then that's at best $1-2 a day, or $365-$730 a year just on baby food containers, but probably more because as baby grows, they eat more and the containers cost more and we're not always lucky enough to get them on sale.)

Now, how many of you tend to "thicken your baby food" with rice cereal or oatmeal?  Well, when you do that, you are increasing the cost of your baby's meal even more.  So, why do we even have to do that?  Well, because baby food companies actually water down the food.  This makes them less nutritious and it also means that a decent portion of that $25.60 per gallon you are paying is actually going toward water.

Dr. Daryth Stallone and Dr. Michael Jacobson state in research findings on this topic that, 

"Gerber and Heinz add substantial amounts of water and thickening agents (flours and chemically modified starches) to more than half of their twenty-five most popular fruits, mixed and creamed vegetables, desserts, and dinners for babies over six months (second- and third-stage foods). Not only are those products a monetary rip-off, they are also nutritionally inferior to similar products made without fillers. Gerber and Heinz' bananas with tapioca, for example, contain less than half of the levels of nutrients found in their plain first-stage bananas. Gerber and Heinz' regular dinners, which contain at least two types of refined flour as thickeners, provide less than 50% of the nutrient levels found in comparable dinners."

Beech Nut, Growing Healthy and Earth's Best do a better job at this, but making your own is still the best way and I'll explain how and why in Part 2 of this post.  
Commercial baby food brands market their products to mom's by making claims that they are specially formulated to give your baby the best nutrition and this just simply is not the case.  Real, whole food is the only thing "specially formulated" for our kids.  In order to give your baby the nutrition he or she truly needs from commercial baby food, you would have to feed them at least twice as much.

So let's look at real, whole food and compare quality, quantity and cost.  Let's take and 8 oz sweet potato or yam.  Sweet potatoes and yams are super foods.  They are rich in nutrients and great for baby.  They're also one of baby's first foods, so a good place to start.  Ok, let's boil that sweet potato.  Now it has perhaps doubled or maybe even tripled in volume, creating well over a pound of food.  On average, sweet potatoes cost about $1.00 per pound at the grocery store, or about $1.50 per pound for organic.  So, you just produced 16-24 ounces of cooked, nutritious food for about 50 to 75 cents.  16-24 ounces of Gerber Sweet Potatoes would cost you about $3.00 to $5.00.

And, a 2 ounce serving of cooked sweet potatoes contains almost 200% of our daily allowance of Vitamin A, 16% of our daily allowance of Vitamin C, 2% of Calcium and Iron, 6.5% of our daily dietary fiber, 2% of our protein, 7% of our potassium, and 30 mg of Omega 6 fatty acids.

A 2 ounce serving of Gerber Sweet Potatoes has about the same in Vitamin A, which tells you they may be pumping it back in, 0% of our Vitamin C, 0% of Calcium, 0% of Iron, 2% of protein (again, putting it back in?), about 6% of our potassium, and they say nothing about Omega 6 fatty acids.

In my next post, I'm going to talk about making your own baby food at home.  Max is about 5 months old now and I've already saved so much money and I know that what I'm giving him is truly nutritious and it hasn't really cost me that much extra time at all.  And that's important, because extra time is worth more than money to a busy mom.